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cistro:

Am i a womfn? Am i a womfn?

4 days ago826,974 plays

momazhari:

burn-down-the-world:

This was the single funniest thing I have ever seen a president do.

I’M STILL LAUGHING.

I will never not reblog this.

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Let’s all take a moment to remember that Obama actually fucking did this omg

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i love the term “bear with me” because it could mean either 1 of 2 things:

  • asking someone to be patient
  • confirmation that the zoo heist was a success

sluttyoliveoil:

*ends every piece of advice with “idk though” so that its not my fault if i ruin ur life*

hartbxg:

hartbxg:

you have never truly lived on the edge until you’ve continued blogging after your laptop has given you the 5% remaining warning and it could cut out at any moment 

its going hardcore tonight

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fckthestate:

bonsaibabe:

i dont think goosebumps books ever came into print i think they just mystically appeared in public school libraries one day already in mediocre condition

this sounds like a plot for a goosebumps book about goosebumps books

jawnsolo:

leaving your room when people are over

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teapayne:

you never know!

marissagiersch:

justjenaynayy:

dolphinboy420:

i dont think i’ve ever been so frustrated

Orange you glad it’s not a banana 

it happened

marissagiersch:

justjenaynayy:

dolphinboy420:

i dont think i’ve ever been so frustrated

Orange you glad it’s not a banana

it happened

mescalineforbreakfast:

Kinda wanna have sex

Kinda wanna sleep for 12 hours

Kinda wanna eat 2 large pizzas 

4 days ago591,415 plays

officerbottom:

chickenstab:

halloween’s coming early on tumblr

guess that ghost just isn’t in his right spirits